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Losing a loved one is one of the most painful experiences you can have in life and while nothing can ever change the fact that your loved one is no longer with you in body, creating a connection with them on a spiritual level is something that can bring a great deal of comfort and some measure of peace. 

Having had grief touch my own life quite significantly, a number of times and having helped many people with their grief through my work as a medium over the last 20+ years, I know there is a lot to be said for the difference that a spiritual connection can make.

The most common question people have after their loved one dies is “Are they o’k?”

Gaining your own sense that your loved one is ok, that perhaps they are now free from pain or O’k after a sudden and unexpected passing is without a doubt a comfort that makes your grief that little more bearable.

Here I’ve compiled a list of things I want you to know that will help you to make that spiritual connection with your loved one easier to achieve.

1. You are Spirit too.

If there is one thing I want you to know about being your own medium and connecting with your loved ones in Spirit.
It is the fact that you are Spirit too!
While we now perceive that your loved one is in the Spirit world, I want you to know that in spiritual truth you are Spirit too.
The part of them that continues to exist is also a part of you. And it is this part of our being, our Divine Spirit that is connected to all things throughout all time and space, giving us the ability to communicate naturally Spirit to Spirit.

2. Check your expectations

Often we expect the process of connecting and communicating with Spirit to occur a certain way. Queue the show ‘Medium’ or ‘the Ghost Whisperer’ LOL. In reality though, the connections occur far more subtly and are often spontaneous. So try to let go of expecting to see them or hear them like you and I see one another. This is more often than not a feeling experience, so please open yourself and become a little more attuned to how you feel.

3. What gets in the way

As I said above, this is generally a very subtle feeling experience with any visions and thoughts an added bonus. So what can get in the way is the heaviness of your grief especially if you are avoiding the emotion of it all in any way. Try not to push it under the carpet. It’s ok to feel how you do.

Getting help with a counselor would be a step in the right direction or at the very least watch my life after loss series of videos here on my blog or YouTube channel.

4. Spirit visitations

I can assure you that your loved ones are often trying to connect with you as much as you are with them. It is common for them to appear in a family members dream or for someone to see their apparition. Often in the doorway of a bedroom as your switching off for the night and quieting the mind.

The message here is one of letting the family know that they are O’k especially if this visit is in the days and weeks after their passing. Often it is the most receptive family member that receives this visit, which then leaves them tasked with passing the message on. Sometimes though people don’t talk about this stuff for fear of ridicule though again, I can assure you everyone has a story.

I recall one young lady seeing her Dad appear at the end of her bed. It scared the living daylights out of her and she didn’t know why, so she carried that all with her for a while until she met me. Her Dad showed me that he had appeared to her in this way, which opened the door for us to discuss it and for me to explain it more and settle her nerves about it all. He really wanted to whole family to know he was o’k.

5. There is no time frame

Spontaneous connections instigated by the spirit world often occur early on, in the hours, days and weeks following their passing as explained above.

Establishing a more purposeful long-term connection may take longer as it rightly should. This gives all parties the time to adjust to the loss and the new dynamic it creates allowing you time to begin processing your grief.

Too early and you could be at risk of getting stuck with your grief journey. Be aware of this, although I’m sure Spirit would have it in hand. So if you have had a connection and find that its disappeared, then please know this is Spirit’s way of directing you back to healing your grief in a different way.

 6. External Signs

A common approach from Spirit to let you know they are with you is with the use of external signs. I urge you to err on the side of skepticism here as not every feather that you come across is going to be sign from Mum.

Their signs are actually more likely to specific to them. Recently, my children and I were out together and it was my first time watching my son DJ. It was a very special day to all of us as it was his birthday and it had only been three weeks since losing their Dad, my former husband. At the end of the session, sitting on a piano in the nightclub was a lone, random Footscray Bulldogs AFL cap. Yes, we were in Melbourne but their Dad was laid to rest in a Footscray jersey. Now that’s the kind of sign that says ‘I’m here too.’


7. Dreams

Your dreams are an extremely common way that your loved ones will visit you and you will also find they are also an avenue you can use to ask them to come to you.

  • Visitation dreams will leave you feeling peaceful and calm
  • Dreams processing your emotions and grief will feel fearful, upsetting and contain an array of emotion you may be experiencing beyond the surface.
  • Ask for you loved to visit by writing a question for them on a piece of paper and putting it in your pillowcase. Keep this intention until you feel you have your answer or dream.

 8. The power of natural soulitude

Many times I come across people who have natural connections occur with their loved ones while they are gardening or performing some other task that they love and find quite peaceful to their soul.

It’s in these moments of alone time and reflection that you can feel the presence of your loved ones. The heart-warming blanket of energy that seems to wrap itself around you. This feeling of love can all be too easily missed when your too busy with your to do list. Do spend some time in soulitude, doing what you love and you will find the gift of connection can naturally flow with this in time.

9. Taking it to a whole other level

Taking your loved one connection to another level with meditation and an expanding mediumship communication is where you will feel your heart expand even amidst the pain of loss, even if just for a moment.

I have a Spirit guide meditation available that can be applied to connecting with your loved ones. Simply substitute your intention to connection with your loved one instead of a Spirit guide. Give it some time, a few weeks if you are new to meditating or connecting with Spirit. Journal your experience after each meditation and in time I’m sure you’ll be connecting before too long.

Meditation available to download here

  • You may find it helpful to ask your loved one to always present using a specific symbol. For example, come holding your favourite flower so you know it’s them visiting when they appear in a dream, a meditation or when using external signs.

  • No matter the form you connection takes try to engage in conversation. Ask you questions especially if you are meditating. Use open-ended questions and ask one question that you do not know the answer to, which can likely be validated later. This will go some way to proving to yourself that the connection is real.

10. Intention is everything

Whether it is a dream, a prayer, moments of soulitude or meditation, your loved ones consciousness responds because of an intention founded in the vibration of love. Your grief, even though painful is an expression of love and it is the intention to connect with love that will see it happen for you in the way that is right for both of you.

I’ll leave you with one last thought.

Have you made room in your heart today to heal, to love and to come to that place where you and your loved one exist with joy, peace and love? Allow those good memories to flow.

with love & gratitude,


P.S If you feel drawn to, please share a memory of your loved one with me in the comments below.


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Hi, I’m Kerrie Wearing and I am a Spiritual Leader and mentor in the Divine Feminine.

I connect women to their Divine Feminine empowering their sense of self, their creativity and their Mediumship abilities, so they can live a life guided by love, purpose and Spirit.

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